(laughing) – Say ladies, are you guys happy with your birth control? – I hate having to take mine every day. – And it seems like so many aren’t 100% effective. – Well, I’m on a new birth control, and it really works. – [Women] Really?
– What is it? – [Woman With Glasses]
It’s called Climate Change. – Climate Change? What’s that? – Climate Change is the significant changes in our Earth’s atmosphere, caused by pollution. Ultimately leading to the destruction of our planet, if we do nothing. (laughing) – Sounds complicated. How’s it work? – Oh, it’s simple. Climate Change releases
an existential dread throughout your entire being, making you question whether it’s ethical to have children at all in this seemingly doomed world. – Now that seems too horrible to be true! – Oh, trust me ladies, it’s very true. – Well I think the science is still out. – It’s not. – Is it like those other birth controls I have to take every day? – Oh no. Climate Change is just one giant pill you have to swallow. – But is it 100% effective? – Oh, it is. Because unlike other birth controls, Climate Change removes the question of reproduction all together. I haven’t had sex in forever. (ladies whooping) What’s the point? – But wait, what if you wanna have kids someday? – I’ll just adopt. (laughing) – It says here that Climate Change may result in the melting of the Arctic, the destruction of the Amazon Rainforest, and the demise of all civilization as we know it by 2050. But isn’t it all just cyclical? – It’s not! – I don’t know, I like it a little warmer. – Did she say 2050? That’s so soon. If I have kids now, by 2050 they’ll be 30. – I’m about to be 30. I don’t wanna live in that world. Do I wanna force my children to? – Uh oh, ladies. Looks like it’s working already. (laughing) – [Women] Cheers! – [Narrator] Side effects
of Climate Change include: extreme heat, heavy downpours, flooding, increased wildfires, world-wide displacement, insect outbreaks, food and water scarcity, just to name a few. Climate Change is available
everywhere, all the time. Climate Change may not be effective if you are a
CEO of an oil company, fossil fuel lobbyist, or politician bribed by
a fossil fuel lobbyist. Call your Senator or Congressman if Climate Change isn’t right for you. – Now I’m in control of my life. Or, what little is left of it, anyway. (laughing)