Importance of Natural Resources

Climate Change is the Ultimate Birth Control


(laughing) – Say ladies, are you guys happy with your birth control? – I hate having to take mine every day. – And it seems like so many aren’t 100% effective. – Well, I’m on a new birth control, and it really works. – [Women] Really?
– What is it? – [Woman With Glasses]
It’s called Climate Change. – Climate Change? What’s that? – Climate Change is the significant changes in our Earth’s atmosphere, caused by pollution. Ultimately leading to the destruction of our planet, if we do nothing. (laughing) – Sounds complicated. How’s it work? – Oh, it’s simple. Climate Change releases
an existential dread throughout your entire being, making you question whether it’s ethical to have children at all in this seemingly doomed world. – Now that seems too horrible to be true! – Oh, trust me ladies, it’s very true. – Well I think the science is still out. – It’s not. – Is it like those other birth controls I have to take every day? – Oh no. Climate Change is just one giant pill you have to swallow. – But is it 100% effective? – Oh, it is. Because unlike other birth controls, Climate Change removes the question of reproduction all together. I haven’t had sex in forever. (ladies whooping) What’s the point? – But wait, what if you wanna have kids someday? – I’ll just adopt. (laughing) – It says here that Climate Change may result in the melting of the Arctic, the destruction of the Amazon Rainforest, and the demise of all civilization as we know it by 2050. But isn’t it all just cyclical? – It’s not! – I don’t know, I like it a little warmer. – Did she say 2050? That’s so soon. If I have kids now, by 2050 they’ll be 30. – I’m about to be 30. I don’t wanna live in that world. Do I wanna force my children to? – Uh oh, ladies. Looks like it’s working already. (laughing) – [Women] Cheers! – [Narrator] Side effects
of Climate Change include: extreme heat, heavy downpours, flooding, increased wildfires, world-wide displacement, insect outbreaks, food and water scarcity, just to name a few. Climate Change is available
everywhere, all the time. Climate Change may not be effective if you are a
CEO of an oil company, fossil fuel lobbyist, or politician bribed by
a fossil fuel lobbyist. Call your Senator or Congressman if Climate Change isn’t right for you. – Now I’m in control of my life. Or, what little is left of it, anyway. (laughing)


Reader Comments

  1. No joke I have recently felt bad for having 3 kids of my own because of how fucked the world is becoming. And I worry about what the world will be like for my grandkids, if my kids even have kids of their own.

  2. and think in all the garbage and pollution you have produced and you will produce in your entire life, put it all in an imaginary pile, every diaper, every bottle, every peace of paper and KW consumed, all the food, all the clothes, everything. Well that's the extra pollution a new baby cost 🙂

    so, next time you feel moraly superior to someone because you are a parent, don't.

  3. The best part was the bit at the end where they told you to call your congressman and senator, as if the public opinion of the poors has any influence on policies, first get a few million and buy off some politicians THEN you can get any change you want.

  4. I don't know who needs to read this, but the feeling you just felt is as close as you may ever get to understanding why Black people liked Get Out

  5. Ladies, this might have seemed humorous, but I don't think it is. Climate change will destroy very little of our planet. Human beings and civilization are in crisis, not the landscape. So, how will politicians react to a crisis which could decrease human wealth/population? One thing they could do would be to cancel abortion rights. This would increase the birth rate. So please be careful when you make jokes about climate change.

  6. Indeed don't reproduce if you fear that enjoying even a brief span isn't worth having children. It'll save the rest of us the hassle of dealing with more of you and calm your poor rattled nerves. Life is never a guaranteed span of time for anyone ever at any point. The planet could just explode tomorrow for all we know or another viral outbreak that actually wipes most of humanity out. Basing your decision to reproduce on climate change is absolute idiocy. Global warming melting the polar ice caps would place many currently inhabitable regions underwater, but it's not the end of sustaining life on the planet. Assuming you or your offspring would be the weakest among the human race, and would be culled immediately is likely the reason you would prefer to not reproduce which is not a fair assumption to make on your unborn chid's part. I digress to each their own don't reproduce if you don't want to or feel incapable of parenting.

  7. Before and dumbass nationalist start saying that we are importing millions of people from the third world that take resources, just remember, 7 Kenyans use the resources of one american

  8. Its all fun and games until you realize a climate change activist suggesting we should "eat the babies" in AOC's conference

  9. 2050 yea for sure lol. There was a mural at my Uni saying ''If we don't reduce our consumption habits, the world will collapse in 10 years''. The mural was painted in 1993, and our consumption increased since.

  10. They say you can't perform an abortion after the child is born, I've been hucking all my plastic into the local ditch and I leave my car running all night. in about 20 years I'll be a free man!

  11. Brilliant! I agree with this, I mean, we're the ones who created climate change. Time to sterilize then sex all the time without the worry!

  12. If kids are too stupid to see the scam, its best if they do not pass on their genes. It will improve the gene pool for the future.

  13. Any one else wondering how Collegehumor is still putting out videos after they shut down and a worldwide pandemic has plagued the nation?

  14. Or we're just way too poor and trying to pay off debts so we can maybe own a 2-bedroom bugalow before we're 50. Kids? Lol, nice one…

  15. ironically, having children is the worst thing a private person can do for climate change, being indirectly responsible for a whole other humans pollution

  16. Climate change is and was happening billions of year before first human. It’s nothing that we have to fear of becouse we doesn’t have any impact on it and is was promoted just to make lot of money that some sheep’s really did.

  17. I don't think CH gets what birth control is ? they were all already on birth control so they obviously didn't want children so giving them another reason not to shouldn't really change anything

  18. Anyone else thinking COVID-19 may have demonstrated how unnecessary much of our climate depletion really is?

    Only. I don't think people are going to listen.

  19. Don't have kids (at least not more than 2) and vote for someone who is in favor of the green new deal.
    But only If you what to save the world.

  20. Oh my god I have been trying to prove this point for aggeeeesss and why to adopt! This is every point I have made better! I love this. Good job you have all the ideas

  21. And the best thing, climate change also works for men!

    Do I really want my kids to suffer? And the kids of my kids?

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